In this episode, we discuss how to overcome self-sabotage and embrace your potential.
Tune in to find out…
1) Identifying patterns of self-sabotage and finding where you dismiss yourself before others get a chance.
2) Embracing challenges like getting 100 rejections as a way to take opportunities without fear of rejection.
3) Keeping a record or journal of rejections to track progress and reframe rejection as a non-emotional challenge rather than a blow to self-worth.
Connect with Kristi on LinkedIn.
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Enjoy the podcast transcription:
Welcome to leaving the classroom. This is a podcast for teachers who are ready to transition out of the classroom and into a new career. Each week, I'll share stories about what I've learned moving from education to the corporate world. I'll answer the most common questions and share my best tips to help you get started. If you are considering leaving the classroom, this show is for you.
Hello, everyone. Welcome to leaving the classroom. I'm Kristi Oliva, and I'm so glad you're here. Today I want to talk about something we've all dealt with at some point in our lives. Self-sabotage, also known as self-selection, this is that little voice in your head that says, yeah you're not good enough or why even bother? It's the reason we sometimes don't share our creative work, apply for that dream job, or pursue our passions. Let's dive into this topic and figure out how to overcome self-sabotage. Self-sabotage is like a thief in the night, it creeps up on you when you least expect it. It often stems from a fear of being judged or a need for validation, or the belief that you are not qualified enough. It's the reason you hold back from showing off your talents or seizing exciting opportunities.
I mean, have you ever had a brilliant idea, but you didn't share it because you thought people might not like it, the doubt crept in, self-sabotage. Or maybe you didn't apply for a job, because you felt you weren't experienced enough, or you were missing a couple of the skills, self-sabotage. And I do all of these things, too. I do it in romantic relationships. And I do it when I'm dreaming of a big idea. I did it when I was leaving the classroom. I would not apply for positions, because they had one requirement that I couldn't meet. That's self-sabotage. I struggle with believing that things can really work out for me. And so I find a problem. I find a problem. And I sit on it. I pick at it, I obsess over it. And then the relationship ends. The dream ends. It's over. And I can say I knew it. I told you I knew it wouldn't happen. I knew it wouldn't work out, self-sabotage. I count myself out before I even get a chance. And teachers, you are self-sabotaging. When you say next year will be your last year. When you allow people to make you believe that you have to finish this year, or you're doing something wrong. You're not. Where are you rejecting yourself before someone else can?
Let's talk about the best ways to overcome this and to stop self-sabotage. First of all, I challenge you to get 100 rejections because the root of this is rejection right? I'll do it too. By the end of 2024, I will get 100 rejections. Oh, that just gave me a chill. There I said it. Okay. You know what this means? This means that I have to take the plunge, I have to send the letter, make the phone call submit the proposal. And guess what? I already got my first rejection. I applied to speak at the ATD conference next year, rejected, one done. Did it cost me anything? Some time. And did I share with other people that I applied? Yeah. So it's hard not to feel shame. It's hard not to say Oh, I knew I wasn't gonna get accepted. But you know what the truth is, I didn't know. I really thought maybe I had a chance. So I've got my first rejection. Where's yours?
But to be honest, knowing that I have to get 100 rejections, that takes some of the pressure off, I have to get rejected 100 times. So I'm not anticipating not getting rejected, or anticipating the rejection like it's bad, I have to get rejected. And I think this makes it less scary to put some of my ideas out there. If I know that it's just going to add to the tally of rejections, which is a success. Because I'm supposed to get 100 rejections. I'm working towards my goal.
So let's talk about how we can beat self-sabotage while we're still racking up those rejections. I have four ways to start right now. Number one, find your patterns. Begin by acknowledging your self-sabotage tendencies and patterns. Take a moment to reflect on the areas of your life where you just dismiss yourself even before others have a chance to do so. For me, it's in personal relationships, mainly, romantic relationships, friendships, I self sabotage. I find something wrong. And I've figured it out. And you know what, I don't know if there's anybody famous out there who said this. But I mean, if you go looking for it, you're going to find it. I truly believe this. So find that pattern. And let's break it.
Number two, embrace the challenge, the challenge of this 100 rejections. The challenge of finding yourself sabotage, and let's, let's make it into a game. So we're going to get those 100 rejections. So that means you have to, you have to engage in activities like applying for jobs, making sales calls, sending out proposals, submitting a manuscript or pursuing significant speaking opportunities. Instead of declining opportunities out of a fear of rejection, take them and discover the actual outcome, because you don't know.
Number three, keep a record, create a visible scoreboard, or maintain a rejection journal to track your progress. I'm going to start this today. And I'm gonna write down that rejection I talked about earlier. One down. This can help you stay motivated but it's also going to reframe it as a challenge, as a game. This is not a blow to your self-worth, you're not tracking how terrible you are, you're just tracking the ideas that didn't work or didn't work, yet.
Number four, detach emotions from rejection. That's partly what the journaling will do. Keeping track of it turns it into a less emotional experience, and just track it as something that happened. So let's avoid attaching emotional baggage to the rejection. Remind yourself not to let your emotions cloud your judgment. And that is really hard for me, I have to tell you, I'm a very emotional person. And so even saying, to take out emotions, just feels like it's not going to happen. But I know it's what has to happen.
So this self-sabotage holds you back, holds me back from reaching our potential. But this exists in our minds, this is not real, and we can change our minds. So 100 rejections starts today. Take the leap. Change your mind, do the thing. Why? Because rejection is better than regret. Don't regret that you never shared your idea. Don't regret that you didn't apply for that job. Don't regret that you let rejection get the better of you.
Okay, at IDOL courses Academy we help you build your professional portfolio, revise your resume, prepare for interviews, and get you ready so that you don't regret taking the leap and leaving the classroom.
Sign up for IDOL courses Academy using my code CLASSROOM100 And get $100 off enrollment. It's time to take control, delete self-sabotage, and make the career change that will change your life. It changed mine. See you next time.
That's all for this episode, but you can find more at idolcourses.com or subscribe to the podcast. And if you are ready to leave the classroom, use my code CLASSROOM100 And get $100 off enrollment to IDOL courses Academy.